fix(server): dispatch callbacks and queue events

[gijzelaerr]

Summary

• dispatch native-compatible lifecycle, client, read, and write server events
• deliver events through both callbacks and the pick_event queue
• make queue access thread-safe and isolate callback failures from the server loop
• correct the startup event code to evcServerStarted

Validation

• uv run --frozen pre-commit run --all-files
• pytest -q (1822 passed, 78 skipped)
• uv build --no-sources

Addresses #853.